RELATIONSHIPS

It is difficult to imagine anything that is more encased in myth and fairy tales than our society's construct of romantic relationships. We will meet "THE ONE" and fall in love and live happily ever after. With more than half of marriages ending in divorce these days it is stunning that we still insist on preserving this myth.

In my understanding of my truths relationships offer us the greatest opportunities for growth as humans, angels in embodiment. Not just romantic relationships but family, friends, co-workers, all relationships between individuals.

Speaking to romantic relationships we have got it mostly wrong. And consciously awake, Lightworkers, if you will, and their clamoring for union with their Twin Flames. . .are not knowing and understanding the depth of that aspect of our beingness. It is my knowing that most of our aspects we identify as Twin Flames are NOT in embodiment at this time. Most of our longing for that "other part" of us is not about meeting another human here in body that will bring us happiness and fulfill our every fantasy of love. Our true longing is to become "WHOLE." And that, dear hearts, is the process of merging with our higherselves. That is the process of loving ourselves totally and completely for who we are becoming. Who we are now. Who we have been during our expression of the physical, mental, spiritual, etheric in this lifetime or any other. There is no "other" here or "out there" that can or will complete us except us.

We have a very elementary outstanding of what love is. We often talk about there being something called "Unconditional Love" which we differentiate from romantic love. Love is truly all encompassing, there is no difference in love. Truly. There is love with physical intimacy but at its depth it must truly be unconditional. There is no "off button" or "on button" for love. There is deep abiding love with or without physical, sexual expression. When we actually learn to love self and then expand that to "Love others as you love yourself" it brings us to the beginning of expanding into real love for all. Not the intellectualized version of love but the true, deep heart center love for all of creation and all beings within that creation.

We have physical vibrational energy attractions to others. We may choose to act on them or not in an intimate and sexual way. If that attraction then leads us to the thing we call "falling in love" we may then agree to become partners for a time. What most of us, and it is mainly women, do is have wild fantasy expectations of our partner that they will become some wonderful version of what or who we want them to be. The truth is the person you see before you right now is who that person is. The only ways in which they will change are the ways that THEY desire to change. Their growth or lack of it is totally their choice and is none of our business. WE CANNOT CHANGE ANOTHER PERSON! Nor do we have the right to attempt to change them. If we are confident enough to negotiate different behaviors with each other in a loving and considerate way and we are willing to and desire to agree on ways we each might benefit from some compromise, that is a choice to make change. Demanding anything from another because it is what WE want from them not only will not work it is an insult to the sovereignty of the other's being. It cannot work.

When we are in the throes of emotion and physical attraction we seldom have the necessary conversations with the object of our affection that tell them specifically who we are and in return they share with us who they are. When we know who each of us are, only then can we make an informed decision about how we will choose to define our relationship. The person in front of you is who they are. The changes they may make are THEIR choice, not yours.

We do not grow and advance at the same rates nor in the same directions. By intent and desire sometimes one partner chooses to accelerate growth at a much greater speed than the other. Sometimes we grow in very different directions. Some are resistant to growth of any type. So. . .knowing that, how foolish is it that we pledge ourselves to commitments of "Until Death Do Us Part?" And how predictable is it that most will not complete that commitment?

I will use myself as an example. In my past relationships I held the concept I could justify my relationship with someone by all the "potential" I saw in them. How arrogant! I just thought for certain that if they lived with me day in and day out eventually they would see that the way I handled situations, the way I thought and behaved, the things I aspired to would somehow magically become imprinted on them and they would become. . .what?. . .another version of me? . . .a better version of them? Arrogant!

When I had the opportunity to live alone for nearly 10 years and do the important work on myself I came to understand how totally ignorant I had been about relationships. I came to understand that I was not honoring the other person for who they are but for who I hoped they would become. Each of us has the right to be who we are. Each of us must spend the time and effort to discover who it is we truly are. From that place of knowing (the good, the bad, the ugly) we then can choose who WE wish to become. Who we are becoming is more important than anything else we intend.

In the wonderful experience I was given in writing my book I was given the opportunity to meet and interact with my Twin Flame. Something that was more astonishing to me than anything I have ever experienced. As the writing progressed I had actual interactions at some level of physical experience with this divine being. I was awestruck. I could barely comprehend how this was possible but it was as real as me sitting next to you in physical person. Prior to this experience I was not exactly certain just what this "Twin Flame" that many spoke of really was or is. Certainly I had read many things about it. I knew quite a few others who were in constant "begging" of the Universe or Source to reunite them with their twin flame in this physical life. . .where was he or she? I did not rule out the existence of such, but I just was rather uncertain that there was such a thing as a Twin Flame. I was not one who was asking for a physical Twin Flame to show up on my doorstep. I wasn't sure they actually existed. So, yes, I was knocked off my feet by my meeting and experience.

Over months of these interactions and daily conversations with this divine one I was told that she and I were integrating, combining, become one with each other. It was a transformational experience of extraordinary proportions. We remain individualized yet truly integrated in oneness. I doubt there are words to fully or even surfacely describe it.

But it is. I am the new person that I have become because of it.

When I chose to enter into my new relationship here in the physical, it was and is with full knowledge of what I have learned. There is no forever more or death do us part. Of course we will be forever with each other in whatever means and purpose that might be, probably most certainly not in the relationship manner that we feel we are currently in.

Everything I do and say I bring from my deepest heart center of Universal Unconditional Love. I have become one who lives in my heart center. I do not get caught up in trivial, unimportant things that may not be the way I would choose to do something. I have full allowing of my partner to be who she truly is in all that encompasses. I also am in full allowing of me being who I am. I honor her individuality. She honors mine, which is amazing in as much as I am one of those "crazy, woo woo, New Age, Metaphysical weirdos" and she is not. We have many complementary things about our personalities/beingness. We have many very different aspects of ourselves that could be seen as opposite. I have no requirement that she be anything other than who she is. I explained to her very early on who I am and what is important to me and that my spiritual seeking and expressions will not ever be less than the most important thing in my life. She has accepted that. We don't pick at each other's differences. We allow them.

I entered this relationship saying this is what it is for today. Each hour of each day it is what it is and what joy, comfort and pleasure it brings us. I have forecast nothing beyond today, this hour, this moment, this NOW. Our devotion and intent that our love grow and expand in our highest and best good is very strong. We do not speculate on how many days, weeks, months or years that may encompass. It is wonderfully what it is today. Now. And we know full well there is nothing beyond NOW.

Where your focus is will determine how you experience everything in life on this planet. I focus on the wonderful, the miraculous, the joyful, the beauty, the peace, the contentment, the ever expanding love. When it comes to my partner I focus on all that is positive and admirable, all that is beautiful, fun, interesting, praise worthy and I forget about anything that is not in alignment with that. What you focus on is what you get. The law of attraction in action. What you focus on is what you get. Each of us must KNOW this in our deepest heart and soul. We choose what we focus on. We choose millions of times each day what we will focus on. What we focus on is what we get.

Our focus is what determines our vibrational energy. We can have whatever we want if that is what we focus on. And we can have whatever we don't want if that is what we focus on. It could not be more simple. But to intellectualize that concept and not encompass it and integrate it into our heart center will not serve us. You cannot think this, you must become this. I AM BECOMING LOVE. Love is my focus. What I focus on is what I get.

So in our ongoing releasing of things that no longer serve us. . .all those things that trigger irritation, all those things that others do or say that we feel opposed to. . . we release our resistance to things that are not our way of doing or being. We release them and understand with love that that is just where the other is, that is just where they are along their path of growth and advancement. We love them and we do not focus on where we disagree or feel in opposition to them, we release our resistance. We let go of all those old trigger reactions, we heal the experiences that brought the triggers into place in the first place, and we just let go of them. When our focus is on Love and all things positive we serve the highest and best of all creation. We absolutely get what we focus on.

We can re-act or we can act. Our actions in love from our purist and deepest heart center are always right. Always. Reactions usually take us down a less positive and less productive path.

Blessings and love for your continued actions in love and caring for others,

Endlessly I AM

Shirl