Who is in Charge Here? ~by Shirl

You know how it is. Thoughts come strolling or sometimes rampaging through your mind. Like today.

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I have been hearing from rather a lot of people in my little realm lately that an avalanche of “things” are coming in on top of them, that people, emotions and circumstances are just overwhelming them. Chaos prevails. Many of them are quite distressed. They are uncertain as how to handle anything. In fact often they feel so incapable and powerless that they are looking for the quickest exit possible. Wit’s end is a place they have passed a few miles back.

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The mass consciousness or what is sometimes called conventional wisdom has trained and programed most all of us to believe that we are powerless beings that life happens to and it ain’t pretty. We are ingrained with the thought that we have no control over our lives. Our parents, our children, our spouse, our boss, our co-workers, our circumstance, our city, our state, our Federal Government, the health care system, the economic system, the giant corporations, the heads of state of the world. . .these are what dictate our lives and times and we are just the pawns on the chess board.

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I used to live there too, so I am very much in compassion for the feeling of being overwhelmed. Yet, I also speak from many years of experience and hard learned lessons. Ask yourself, when you are feeling this way, “Why do I choose to live in such chaos? Why do I choose to remain powerless and allow all of this discord to bombard me?” This is a sincere question. You really should consider asking it of yourself and listening to an inner knowing that will help you discover the answers.

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People often challenge me by suggesting that they do not choose these things, they just happen, it just is how it is here. Really? I would like to suggest that we always have a choice about everything. Sometimes we don’t like the available choices, but there is always a choice.

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We are consciousness energy beings in a physical body. Everything here, regardless of how solid it appears to us is energy vibrating at a specific repetitive speed. The more dense something is, the slower the vibrational speed. The less dense, the higher the vibrational speed. This is “Shirl’s Physics” overly simplified definition. So don’t waste your time or energy explaining the intricacies of the actual physics. I know and understand them fairly well for a non-scientific lay person. And no, I couldn’t hold a decent comprehensive conversation with a physicist, mathematician or scientist of any measure. Just wanting to offer a simple example that most might be able to grasp. If you are into Physics go search out Dr Lisa Randall and read some of her great work on the Theory of Everything. . . .still speculative at this point, but it does enchant the imagination and the intellect.

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Rocks vibration, slow. Radio wave vibration, fast. Simple.

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The wonderful and amazing thing about those of us in physical bodies is that WE are in charge of our life and times. Each of us individually either choose to be or choose not to be in charge. Simple. If you say you have not consciously chosen to be powerless and unable to cope with life, then it is most likely that you have chosen by default. By not making a conscious choice we choose by default the status of the energy surrounding us.

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Chaos is not actually a negative thing. In fact all creation comes from chaos. The birth of everything new comes from chaos. The chaos of the Big Bang brought forth some pretty amazing stuff, wouldn’t you say?

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Although it is not an overly popular concept, we do actually each create our own version of reality. None of us sees anything exactly in the same way any other does. We often have agreement on certain concepts and ideas and they become those things we call conventional wisdom or mass consciousness.

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There is a big hang up most people have with the idea of creating your own reality, if that is valid, then that means we each must take responsibility for everything in our lives. Oh dear! That just leaves us hanging out there realizing there is never anyone else to blame for anything. That doesn’t go down well with most of us. Surely there are things out of my realm of influence and control. Surely I am not responsible for a long list of things that I feel are repressive and harmful to me. Who would possibly want to take on the responsibility for everything in their life? I need to blame someone. I would never purposely screw things up this badly for myself. No thanks.

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That was pretty much how I felt about it once upon a time. So I certainly commiserate with any who feel similarly.

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Live Your Life On Purpose! Stop letting life happen to you. Each of us has more power than we can begin to imagine. Step into your personal power by taking control of yourself, by taking responsibility for yourself. You, as a vibrating consciousness energy cannot vibrate for anyone else but you. You cannot change anyone but yourself. You can consciously craft and design and bring into being the self and the life that you wish to have.

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Change your perspective. Stop berating and beating up on yourself. Experiences are just experiences. They contain amazing jewels of understanding and wisdom if you search them out. Mistakes are a process of learning. If you are not making mistakes, if you haven’t made mistakes, you aren’t doing anything and you certainly aren’t learning anything. I hope we all make many mistakes in the present and the future because otherwise we might as well be dead. . .we aren’t learning, we aren’t becoming more today than we were yesterday.

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Most of us learn that if someone does something that displeases us or says words that feel hurtful to us we must jump immediately to react to those assaults.

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Stop caring what others think of you or how you are living your life!

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It is lovely when others agree with us. It is lovely when others encourage us and praise us. But that doesn’t change who we are one bit more than those who despise us, think us stupid, think us less than dirt or certainly less than they are changes us. We are who we are becoming. None of us is finished yet. None of us will ever be finished. We are constantly and continuously who we are becoming.

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The best advice I ever got about learning not to be a reactionary, a person who reacts to others rather than a person who is who you are becoming, was to allow yourself a small pause, a deep breath and a considered response before responding to anyone about anything.

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Raw emotion is exciting and brings its elements of drama with it. We human beings love our drama. But thoughtful, considered interactions bring so much more. Not everything requires a response from us. Imagine that. We don’t need to counter, defend or promote ourselves, ever. Sometimes no response is better than any response.

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While one is taking that small pause and that deep breath first know that you don’t have to be right. . .about anything. . .even when you are certain you are right. Release the need to be right. In your reality you may very well be right. In the others reality you may very well not be right. See how that works. We are not coming from the same perception of who, what and where we are. Makes people want to shout angrily at each other. Makes people want to physically harm each other. Makes people want to go to war and kill each other. All just because we are seeing things from very different perspectives.

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As we choose to create our reality, consciously choose, it is best to sprinkle it liberally with allowing. Allow others to be who they are. Not who you wish them to be. Not who you think they should be. Who they are. Allow yourself to be who you are, not who you think others want you to be, not some negative version of what those friends and family and perfect strangers have suggested you might be, but WHO YOU ARE. Don’t like who you think you are? Change it! For goodness sakes, change those things you don’t like about yourself. There is nothing about you that you are destined to be. There is nothing you can’t change and improve upon if you wish to. You get to choose. Pretty powerful wouldn’t you say? We get to choose.

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When you are in emotional and physical distress I would like to suggest that you use some simple techniques that might be very beneficial to you. Yogic breathing. Or belly breathing as it is often called. It is very simple. It is very effective. Anyone can do it.

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Take a deep breath and through your open mouth expel it with some force. Be aware of your body. As you expel this deep breath relax your shoulders, let them droop. Next take in a long slow deep breath and then slowly exhale. If you raised your shoulders or your chest while taking in this breath you will need to pay attention and practice breathing from deep in your lungs. When you take in a long, slow deep breath push your belly out, your belly should expand outwards. Might take you a few times to do this, but soon it will become second nature. When you exhale your stomach should push inward towards your spine.

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Now that you have the idea of this, take in a set of three long, slow deep breaths, filling your lungs as completely as you are able. Breathe in to a count of 7. Hold that breath for a count of 7 (or as close to it as you are able) then release the breath to a count of 7 or more. Do this three times or sets. Concentrate only on what you are doing while breathing. Push the belly out on the in breath, suck the belly in on the out breath. Holding and counting. Focus on these things.

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You and your body and your emotions should be feeling a much greater calm, a bit of relaxation and general well being. You can do as many sets of 3 as you feel comfortable with. I suggest you always find a minute to do at least one set of 3 when you are stressed and distraught. It is not difficult. It doesn’t take a long time. It works wonders.

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Give it a try. Hugs Shirl